Back on the Ambian Bus

i am up and awake.
I have insomnia problems creeping up on me again. I thought i kicked that habit.. but no. :-(
i have not blogged in awhile because i have had nothing really to say. things have been plain and boring. i'm sure being awake all night now will cure that.

I could not sleep last night because I got SO worked up over the news that it made me physically ill. I watched Cnn for just a bit and had to stop. then shortly after i was standing over the toilet ready to barf. it made the that upset. I went back into the bedroom hoping james would be able to talk me down out of my anxiety trip but the poor thing was already sound asleep. I kinda woke him up any way. I told him i was upset over Haiti and that my tummy hurt. he said "take some medicine" and rolled over.
So i did. I love Alkaseltzer. that shit knocks everything out. I sat down with a tall cold glass and calmed myself down.
Side note: Someone on my facebook actually posted that he does not care about the people in Haiti. he said it does not affect him and he does not know them personally so why should he care. I read this and it has stuck with me now for the past 2 days and i can't stop dweling over his comment. I need to stop thinking about it but i can't. stupid facebook! it's making my misery over the situation even worse! It's not that i really care about this person- but it is making my mind spin on how can anyone THINK like that??

The company I work for is matching dollar for dollar what ever you donate to the red cross. This makes me feel great that what ever I can give will be doubled and sent right to the red cross. My company manufactures water purifiers, so they are sending over some as well to help bring clean water to the country.
..............................................................
The 2 most new things in my life right now are me working from home.. (still going great!) and me joining the new gym down the street. Working from home has changed my life in so many ways it's still amazing to me. The best part is that i have some energy by the end of the day and at 5pm i can be dressed and out the door to the gym to work out.

I did it to get in shape and lose weight but now i realize how important it was just for me to get out of the house! I would go days on end just still in the same pajamas and not leave the house, only to get the mail! Now i'm getting dressed at the end of the day and getting in the car and actually seeing other humans!

So far it started out great! but now my trainer, Ian, is pushing me so hard i am coming home with injuries. This i do not like. I tell him "this hurts" and he says "you just think it hurts, keep going!" so i do! so sumthin's got to change.

I have been working out at the gym for over a month now and have not lost a single pound yet.. this being fat thang is very discouraging. it makes me sad and then even sadder when i come home from the gym hurt. i'm not giving up- but i might quit with this gung-ho attitude i had when i started.. boo.